sweet sweet freedom

As of 5pm this afternoon, I am officially done taking the Arizona Bar Exam. I feel such relief... I am positive I passed, although it's possible that feeling is a protection mechanism because my brain knows I could not handle the thought of not passing. Regardless. I'm done. When it all comes down to it, the anticipation is much worse than the actual thing. Although, being in an huge icebox (I swear the air conditioning was so low my fingernails were blue) for three hours with 900 people writing furiously for two days straight was not fun. The Tucson Convention Center lobby has this creepy display of dolls representing each and every President and First Lady, and I think it reflects on the absolute brain dead state we were all in, that this morning people were just standing and staring at these dolls. It was kind of funny.
Tucson is beautiful right now. (that's where the bar exam was). As I drove in on Monday afternoon, passing Picacho Peak I saw lightning off in the dark sky distance, and then the rain fell. Rain so hard that people were pulling off the road. Rain harder than I have ever seen, and I was just sitting there open-mouthed because I haven't seen anything close to rain in a month and a half and we're in the desert! But it rained all day, rained as I drove into Tucson, rained so that the streets were flooded, rained on the kids splashing in water up to their waists in the streets, bringing out the smell of wet mesquite that is etched into my memory so deep I didn't know it was there. The cool wet night of monsoon season washed away anxiety and rain-longing and I just felt so happy. I was greeted at Stucky's house by their two enormous and absurdly friendly dogs.
Last night, after the exam, Roseanne and I drove up to "A" mountain, stopping first for raspados (Mexican snow cones with real fruit and ice cream). The mountain is right on the edge of the city, and Tucson was spread out all sparkly and wet below. Chilled by the ice cream and cool breeze and drizzle, we enjoyed the view and I dreamed about this place being home.
Thank you to all of you who were thinking of me during these past two days. It has been a rough month but I think things will get better now.